Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over
Review by Sparrow
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Hold on...why am I reviewing a kid’s movie on a site that is all dark and gruesome? There are a couple of reasons to this, which I will explain if you read further on. The main one is simply that it is astounding what they were able to accomplish with this movie. Also the fact that there are so few 3-D movies today that it enhanced the enjoyment of the film that much more. Director Robert Rodriguez has taken a fairly successful children's series, with Spy Kids having 2 releases prior, to new levels with this third installment. |
Strange that he can go from making such horrid action bloodbath movies like "Desperado”, "From Dusk Till Dawn", and "Once Upon A Time in Mexico", to doing two movies now geared to children (Spy Kids 2 being the other). I guess we can attribute that to a sense of versatility with his directing style. Though I am really starting to wonder whether there isn't some hanky panky going on with him and Antonio Banderas, since he is in nearly every single one of his movies. |
| Anyway, Spy Kids 3-D is a thoroughly entertaining movie that is centered on retired pre-teen spy Juni Cortez (Daryl Sabara), who is son of two super spies (played by Banderas and Carla ). The insane Toymaker (Sylvester Stallone) has captured his sister Carmen within a virtual game that could end in tragedy. |
Please tell me this doesn't mean multiple Rocky sequels at once! |
| Blah...tons and tons of people are in this movie that are playing bullshit bit parts that don't actually matter...and really don't do much to put people into the seats. The movie itself has become a good enough franchise that the extra bit players are pretty much senseless expenses nowadays. Maybe that's just my hatred of George Clooney and Bill Paxton talking though. I will say though that Sylvester Stallone was actually kind of interesting as the antagonist, other than his lame interaction with the computer simulations of the different sides of his personalities. |
As you may have already guessed, yes, this movie is 3-D (though with the DVD you have the option of watching it normally as well). While Juni is fighting to find his sister within the game, it is done masterfully in 3-D. You do however have to put up with some cheesy elements that'll make you cringe, but what else can you expect from a kids movie? |
Cue the pointless graphics to amaze the audience! |
| It is very fast paced and the CGI used within the movie is incredibly well done. The kids themselves perform exceptionally considering that almost everything they are interacting with is not real. |
| Overall, this movie is a great addition to the whole CGI/Live Action genre. It may not be at the writing level of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? But it is levels above most modern kid movies, as well as most of the bullshit action movies out there. It is a ton of fun, has a series of great messages for kids, and aesthetically is one of best movies in recent years. And it actually feels like you are watching a video game. |
Disturbing that Elijah looks younger than the child actors in the film |
I think that the people behind movies like Resident Evil and House of the Dead could learn a lot from this movie. Keep in mind though that 3-D takes a toll on the eyes for some (as I found out the hard way). RATING: 6/7 |
| Special Note on DVD features: The one incredibly negative thing I will say about this movie comes from the special features on the DVD version. While there are a TON of great little add-ons that are quite interesting (including thankfully a 2-D version) there is one feature that gets on my last nerve. For some odd reason they've decided to make Alexa Vega into a pop star. She sings 3 songs at the premiere of the movie, which they have included for your viewing "pleasure". Thanks to the asshole execs for turning
the girl that could've been the next snarkey as fuck Darlene Conner...to
being nothing more than a vapid pop princess. There is a behind
the scenes look at her recording a single as well which makes
it all the more comedic, since it proves that she really can't
sing at all. Add in that this girl we've seen grow up on the screen
is suddenly writhing around on-stage like a teenage slut makes
it even more disgusting. But all of you perverts out there will
have something to masturbate to since the Olsen Twins are now
legal. |
Oh wait...Alexa Vega is only 15? Maybe we shouldn't focus on her breasts so much during the filming of this music video. Fuck it! It just means more old pervs will buy the DVD. |
